Before presenting my This I Wonder Essay, I felt good about what I had written. I was confident in my transitions and wording when I reread it to myself. When it was time for me to present though, I felt nervous. I started to feel anxious, what if my essay didn't meet the expectations of my peers or my teacher? Once I started to read my essay, I could hear the nervousness in my voice. But as I pushed through it, I started to feel comfortable with my essay. And although I was comfortable with what I read, as I was reading I could tell certain sentences and words didn't fit right throughout my essay. I found myself tripping over my words or reading double words. It was nice after I was finished reading it aloud to hear the feedback from my peers and Professor Mangini. It was refreshing to hear that my essay was good and gave my audience a good laugh, but also good to hear specifics that I needed to change like my conclusion and some weird sounding sentences. By the end of my presentation, I felt good about reading my essay to the class and I was glad that I had the opportunity to read it aloud and gain insight from fresh eyes and ears. With this information, I plan to reread my essay out loud to myself and mark my paper as I read it, so I can see where I need to make those corrections.
In this post, I will be referring to my This I Wonder Essay and why I chose certain scenes to incorporate in my essay. “10, 9, 8,” I heard Taylor start the countdown
“Am I really going to do this? Am I really about to jump?” I wondered as I stood 5 feet from the edge of a 60 foot cliff. I wanted to start my essay off on this because I feel that it really grabs the attention of my audience to keep them intrigued with my essay. “Holy f&@*” Sean and Thomas said almost in unison. They were the first two at the top and were looking over the edge. If you thought it was overwhelming to look at the cliffs from across the quarry, imagine how intimidating it was to be looking down from the top. We bickered at each other about who would jump first. I wanted to include this scene because I feel it sets in the reality my group of friends and I felt as we stood on top of the massive cliff. It brings the audience closer to the emotions felt by all of us at the time. “10, 9, 8,” I heard Taylor start the countdown “Am I really going to do this? Am I really about to jump? How could I have let those drunk idiots convince me to do this?” I wondered as I stood 5 feet from the edge of a 60 foot cliff. I wanted to provide this insight to my thoughts because I wanted to provide the audience with a piece of not only what was being said aloud, but what was also going through my head. The free fall was exhilarating. I couldn't scream, I couldn't breathe, I was just falling. This line I feels brings that finalizing moment to my audience as they can imagine how I felt as I fell through the air into the unknown. I stood at the top of that cliff and doubted myself. My mind told me I didn't have the courage or strength to overcome that fear of jumping. But I did and I have never been so proud of myself. It was one of the most terrifying, but at the same time the most exhilarating experience of my life. This excerpt is important to me because it brings to attention what jumping meant to me in the end. Below is the first draft I completed on my This I Wonder Essay. I plan to make improvements and changes to this essay as I receive feedback and comments.The Jump“10, 9, 8,” I heard Taylor start the countdown “Am I really going to do this? Am I really about to jump?” I wondered as I stood 5 feet from the edge of a 60 foot cliff. The day prior, I was hanging out with a group of my closest friends, Sean, Taylor, Curt, and Thomas. That cool summer night we sat outback of Taylor's house, each of us with a cold beer in hand, and a nice buzz in each of our heads. We all talked for hours about any and everything and that is when Sean told us of a place called St. Peter's Village located in St. Peter's, Pennsylvania. He went on to talk about how it was a small village that sat on acres of land. The village had small shops, a trail that led deep into the woods, a creek with a swimming spot that housed a rope swing and slide that followed alongside the trail, and a quarry. The quarry across the street from the swimming spot had huge cliffs that looked down into water. Sean told us that he had been to St. Peters twice before and saw people jump from those cliffs, but that he had never done it himself. This placed sounded awesome, and we all wanted in. So as a group of drunk kids, we all agreed that we would take the trip to St. Peter's in the morning. Nothing sounded better than starting off our summer that way. “Welcome to St. Peters” I heard Sean say as we turned into the parking lot, you could hear the gravel crunch under the tires as we parked. We grabbed our backpacks and made our way to the entrance of the trail. We walked across a wooden bridge that brought you to the trail and we started our little hike up the trail. Big rocks were lined perfectly through the creek that made it easy for you to take the nontraditional way of going up the trail. We jumped from rock to rock until we decided to turn around and head over to the quarry. It was overwhelming to stand in front of these massive cliffs, they seemed to hover over us even from a distance. A small wooden fence separated the five of us from the water, but we weren't going to let that stop us. We climbed over the fence and looked over the edge, it was about a 15 foot drop into the water and didn't look as scary. We were all a little hesitant of jumping in. We didn't know how deep it was, and were all a little skeptical of what we might feel at the bottom, or even if we would feel a bottom. Curt took the lead and said he would jump from the side, but only if we promised to jump from the 50 foot cliff across the quarry. We all hastily agreed that we would in fact jump, and within seconds Curt had his socks and shoes off. Curt himself was still a little wary of jumping into the water, but within a blink of an eye he jumped. His head popped up from the water, he took a deep breath and gave us the thumbs up. He said that if there was anything settled to the bottom of the quarry, we wouldn't know because it was so deep. So as we promised, we walked to the side of the quarry and started climbing the small rocks to the trail that led to the top of the cliff. “Holy f&@*” Sean and Thomas said almost in unison. They were the first two at the top and were looking over the edge. If you thought it was overwhelming to look at the cliffs from across the quarry, imagine how intimidating it was to be looking down from the top. We bickered at each other about who would jump first. “Not me” Taylor said. “Yeah maybe when hell freezes over” I could hear Thomas say. “Whatever, I'll go first you babies,” Sean said as he started emptying his pockets and taking his socks and shoes off. I was relieved for a split second that I wasn't going to have to volunteer myself to go first. Sean took a couple steps back to get a running start. We started with the 10 second countdown. “10, 9, 8, 7, 6,” Taylor and I said and before we could get to 5, Sean was jumping off the edge. It was truly a scary but incredible thing to watch. I could hear the splash of the water, and within seconds his head popped up, and we received another thumbs up. But now we had another problem, who would go next? I thought to myself “I might as well just get it over with...” and my heart began beating faster as I claimed the next jump. I took my shoes off and stepped back, my hands were shaking and my heart was beating faster than I have ever felt it beat before. “10, 9, 8,” I heard Taylor start the countdown “Am I really going to do this? Am I really about to jump? How could I have let those drunk idiots convince me to do this?” I wondered as I stood 5 feet from the edge of a 60 foot cliff. “7, 6,” My right foot stepped forward but my left foot didn't follow, I had frozen there. I was scared and petrified of what I was about to do. “How could I have let those drunk idiots convince me to do this” I thought, but then I realized they didn't. I knew somewhere deep in my heart and my mind that I wanted to do this. I wasn't going to let fear stop me from doing this. “5, 4,” And as I heard the number four, my body took control and my mind went blank.' “321” I heard Taylor scream them as fast as she could as I leaped and jumped off the edge. The free fall was exhilarating. I couldn't scream, I couldn't breathe, I was just falling. And then you heard it, SMACK! During the free fall my legs had come out from under me and I had landed in the water as if I was going to sit down in a chair. As I pushed myself to the top, I could feel the pain in my legs, but that wasn't on my mind. I was so proud of myself, I did it, I jumped. I swam to the side of the quarry and when I climbed out of the water my legs instantly felt like Jell-O. Taylor had jumped in right after I did and was the first to see my legs. “Ashley OH MY GOD!” I could hear the worry in her voice. I looked down at my legs and they were turning purple and red. I had hit the water so hard that I had broken multiple blood vessels in my legs. Bystanders had come up to us after we climbed the fence to get back to the car. They all asked the same question, “Why?” And all we could respond with was that we wanted the adventure that came along with it. For weeks after the jump, I proudly walked around with my bruises. They lasted for about 6 weeks and I constantly had people stop me to ask what had happened. I told them I had jumped from a 60 foot cliff and landed funny. They all followed up with the same question, “But why would you do that?” And every time I would respond with the same answer, "Because it was something I needed to prove to myself." I stood at the top of that cliff and doubted myself. My mind told me I didn't have the courage or strength to overcome that fear of jumping. But I did and I have never been so proud of myself. It was one of the most terrifying, but at the same time the most exhilarating experience of my life. It makes me wonder on days when I look back, what if I didn't jump? My life wouldn't have be drastically changed if I hadn't jumped, but would I have been so proud of myself after if I had chickened out? Would I have the faith in myself that I do now to overcome any fear I will ever encounter because of the courage I had to prove my mind wrong? It makes me wonder how many wonderful experiences I may have missed out on due to the fact that i was 'too scared' to follow through. And at the end of the day, I am happy with the choice I made because it was that chance I had to prove to myself what I'm really made of. |