This past semester in my Composition I class, I learned a lot about what writing processes and techniques I benefit most from. I learned about revision techniques and specific processes to help with the writing of essays. Although I feel I have learned a lot and have written good essays, I feel that I did not stand up to my goals this semester. I feel I kind of let myself slip from my work, especially my blogs. I know that I could have worked harder or put more effort into my work than I did. I feel under accomplished and feel poorly about the way I preformed the second half of the semester. In my next English classes, I will definitely use the techniques and processes I learned in this class to help with my future writing.
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Here I will post my first rough draft of my This I Argue essay. Revisions will come in a later post. Enjoy! Hunger in The United States
Envision yourself falling asleep with a rumbling stomach, or knowing you cannot provide enough food for your children. “A Place at the Table”, a documentary about the hunger issues in the United States. According to the film, about 50 million people in American are starving. The documentary shows the struggles three families face with hunger issues. The problem America is facing due to it's hunger issues is made of many components but those most important being the food insecurity some families face, food assistance programs, and the fine line between starvation and obesity. Food insecurity is defined as “the state of being without reliable access to a sufficient quantity of affordable, nutritious food.” As Americans, when we think of food insecurity we think of poor countries and with malnourished children. When in fact, we face these problems in our own backyards. “A Place at the Table” tells the story of two families struggling with food insecurity. First, we are introduced to Rosie who is a fifth grader. Rosie explains the hunger she faces on a daily basis and how on occasion she imagines her classmates and teachers as fruits. Rosies' family is unable to afford much food, and that of which they can afford is processed, unhealthy foods. And although Rosies' family partakes in a food assistance program where Rosies' teacher, Leslie, delivers bags of food to their home. We tend to overlook the fact that many communities in our country face troubles accessing healthy and affordable food for their families. As stated by the documentary “the United States ranks worse among the IMF's Advanced Economy countries on food security.” (A Place at the Table). Charities have become a huge part in helping those in need, but a charity can only do so much, and help for so long. As a country, we need to take a stand and provide the proper help for these families. Barbie, a single mother of two living in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania explains the struggles she faces feeding her children with the help of a food assistance program called SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program). She explains how difficult it was for her to qualify for SNAP to provide food for her children. Because she made a single dollar above the cut off line, she was denied assistance. She shows how emotional it was to wonder how her children were going to eat that night. When she did qualify for SNAP, she travels over sixty miles one way to the grocery store so she can purchase the best food she can for her children. One out of every two children in the United States will have the aid of a federal food assistance program (A Place at the Table). In the United States, we think of starving children to be malnourished, under weight, all skin and bones. But who gets to classify what is hunger and what is not? Our country has slightly recognized this when President Obama signed the bill “The Healthy, Hunger Free Kids Act”. This bill created a six cent increase per meal over the span of ten years that would amount to 4.5 billion dollars. But this increase in school meals, took away from the food assistance programs. Obesity and hunger share a very thin line. When thinking about obesity we think of over weight people who eat more food then they should. But in reality of it all, those who suffer from obesity, are filling their bodies with processed, unhealthy foods. Since 1980 the price of healthy foods have risen 40%, and the prices of processed, unhealthy foods have decreased 40% (A Place at the Table). This price change has forced families that have limited amount of resources for food to but foods that are cheaper, which leads to more processed and unhealthy foods. We meet a little girl, Tremonica in “A Place at the Table” who is a second grader that suffers from asthma and health issues due to her weight. Tremonica lives in the Mississippi Delta which is known for being a food dessert. Food that is widely available to her family is mainly processed food. And when Tremonicas mother goes food shopping, she is looking to get the most for her money so she can feel secure in feeding her child every night. Hunger on the other hand, is left to no one persons decision. Tremonica may be eating every night, but her body is not absorbing the right nutrients and vitamins for her to lead a healthy lifestyle. The United States needs to open its eyes and focus on the issues that we deal with on our own land. We are neglecting children to become the next great generation just by simply denying them access to healthy and affordable food. We need to take a stand against hunger and improve the younger generations because they are the future of our world. In class we watched a documentary, A Place at the Table. Below I will write a summary of the events that took place during this documentary. Almost 50 million people are hungry, and approximately 17 million of them being children, according to . We don't recognize this because our image in society of 'hungry' is a person who is malnourished, nothing but skin and bones. In American, we see the opposite. We see obesity rising in our country due to the processed foods our nation is consuming because it is offered cheaper than fruits, vegetables, and grains. I watched a documentary in class called “A Place at the Table” where I viewed disturbing images and heard heart wrenching stories by families who deal with this struggle every day and experts in the area of hunger in the United States.. The government has encouraged the growing of of grains such as wheat, soy, and corn to be brought into the food manufactures to be made into processed foods. These processed foods are much cheaper and more accessible to those who live in food deserts (a place where finding fresh foods is challenging).
We are taken to Collbran, Colorado where we meet a fifth grader Rosie, and her teacher, Leslie Nichols who is also a food assistance volunteer. Leslie explains the difficulties Rosie experienced with her school work and Rosie admitted that this is because she is hungry. Rosie explains that she feels her “tummy growl but does not know what do to.” and that she suffers from not being able to focus during class because she is seeing her teacher as a banana and other class makes as apples and oranges, with this information Leslie finds it easy for her to relate to Rosie's problem because she was once in her position. Next we are taken to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to meet Barbie, an unemployed single mother with two children, and a hunger activist for Witness for Hunger. She uses the small benefits of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, commonly referred to as SNAP, and even that doesn't make it through the month due to straining requirements to become eligible for public assistance. Barbie explains the difficulties of not being able to support for her youngest child who developed an immune disease by not receiving the right nutrients as a baby. The Mississippi Delta, a food desert, to meet Tremonica who is a second grade student and suffers from medical issues due to her unbalanced diet because healthy foods are more readily available in her area. According to the documentary, 1 out of every 2 children will require food assistance at some point in their lifetime. Author of Food Politics, Marion Nestle explained that the price of fresh fruits and vegetables has risen 40% and the price of processed foods have gone down by 40%. This forces a family with limited funds to spend on food to buy fresh foods because the processed foods are cheaper and can fit more easily into their food budget. Janet Poppenendieck a sociologist, states that hunger in depicted in American is someone who is 'skinny' and looks sickly. Health issues are becoming a big issue in American due to the availability and cost of healthy foods around the country. One of the biggest issues due to this have become obesity and type 2 diabetes. Most don't recognize that hunger and obesity go hand in hand together. People that are eating processed foods, are not gaining the nutrients and vitamins their body needs. 1 in every 6 Americans face hunger and approximately 30% of families in the United States are food insecure meaning they are unsure of where their next meal will come from. Harry Truman once said “A country is only as strong as its youth. For the first time ever, this generation of children is poised to live sicker and die younger that its parents generation.” Before presenting my This I Wonder Essay, I felt good about what I had written. I was confident in my transitions and wording when I reread it to myself. When it was time for me to present though, I felt nervous. I started to feel anxious, what if my essay didn't meet the expectations of my peers or my teacher? Once I started to read my essay, I could hear the nervousness in my voice. But as I pushed through it, I started to feel comfortable with my essay. And although I was comfortable with what I read, as I was reading I could tell certain sentences and words didn't fit right throughout my essay. I found myself tripping over my words or reading double words. It was nice after I was finished reading it aloud to hear the feedback from my peers and Professor Mangini. It was refreshing to hear that my essay was good and gave my audience a good laugh, but also good to hear specifics that I needed to change like my conclusion and some weird sounding sentences. By the end of my presentation, I felt good about reading my essay to the class and I was glad that I had the opportunity to read it aloud and gain insight from fresh eyes and ears. With this information, I plan to reread my essay out loud to myself and mark my paper as I read it, so I can see where I need to make those corrections.
In this post, I will be referring to my This I Wonder Essay and why I chose certain scenes to incorporate in my essay. “10, 9, 8,” I heard Taylor start the countdown
“Am I really going to do this? Am I really about to jump?” I wondered as I stood 5 feet from the edge of a 60 foot cliff. I wanted to start my essay off on this because I feel that it really grabs the attention of my audience to keep them intrigued with my essay. “Holy f&@*” Sean and Thomas said almost in unison. They were the first two at the top and were looking over the edge. If you thought it was overwhelming to look at the cliffs from across the quarry, imagine how intimidating it was to be looking down from the top. We bickered at each other about who would jump first. I wanted to include this scene because I feel it sets in the reality my group of friends and I felt as we stood on top of the massive cliff. It brings the audience closer to the emotions felt by all of us at the time. “10, 9, 8,” I heard Taylor start the countdown “Am I really going to do this? Am I really about to jump? How could I have let those drunk idiots convince me to do this?” I wondered as I stood 5 feet from the edge of a 60 foot cliff. I wanted to provide this insight to my thoughts because I wanted to provide the audience with a piece of not only what was being said aloud, but what was also going through my head. The free fall was exhilarating. I couldn't scream, I couldn't breathe, I was just falling. This line I feels brings that finalizing moment to my audience as they can imagine how I felt as I fell through the air into the unknown. I stood at the top of that cliff and doubted myself. My mind told me I didn't have the courage or strength to overcome that fear of jumping. But I did and I have never been so proud of myself. It was one of the most terrifying, but at the same time the most exhilarating experience of my life. This excerpt is important to me because it brings to attention what jumping meant to me in the end. Below is the first draft I completed on my This I Wonder Essay. I plan to make improvements and changes to this essay as I receive feedback and comments.The Jump“10, 9, 8,” I heard Taylor start the countdown “Am I really going to do this? Am I really about to jump?” I wondered as I stood 5 feet from the edge of a 60 foot cliff. The day prior, I was hanging out with a group of my closest friends, Sean, Taylor, Curt, and Thomas. That cool summer night we sat outback of Taylor's house, each of us with a cold beer in hand, and a nice buzz in each of our heads. We all talked for hours about any and everything and that is when Sean told us of a place called St. Peter's Village located in St. Peter's, Pennsylvania. He went on to talk about how it was a small village that sat on acres of land. The village had small shops, a trail that led deep into the woods, a creek with a swimming spot that housed a rope swing and slide that followed alongside the trail, and a quarry. The quarry across the street from the swimming spot had huge cliffs that looked down into water. Sean told us that he had been to St. Peters twice before and saw people jump from those cliffs, but that he had never done it himself. This placed sounded awesome, and we all wanted in. So as a group of drunk kids, we all agreed that we would take the trip to St. Peter's in the morning. Nothing sounded better than starting off our summer that way. “Welcome to St. Peters” I heard Sean say as we turned into the parking lot, you could hear the gravel crunch under the tires as we parked. We grabbed our backpacks and made our way to the entrance of the trail. We walked across a wooden bridge that brought you to the trail and we started our little hike up the trail. Big rocks were lined perfectly through the creek that made it easy for you to take the nontraditional way of going up the trail. We jumped from rock to rock until we decided to turn around and head over to the quarry. It was overwhelming to stand in front of these massive cliffs, they seemed to hover over us even from a distance. A small wooden fence separated the five of us from the water, but we weren't going to let that stop us. We climbed over the fence and looked over the edge, it was about a 15 foot drop into the water and didn't look as scary. We were all a little hesitant of jumping in. We didn't know how deep it was, and were all a little skeptical of what we might feel at the bottom, or even if we would feel a bottom. Curt took the lead and said he would jump from the side, but only if we promised to jump from the 50 foot cliff across the quarry. We all hastily agreed that we would in fact jump, and within seconds Curt had his socks and shoes off. Curt himself was still a little wary of jumping into the water, but within a blink of an eye he jumped. His head popped up from the water, he took a deep breath and gave us the thumbs up. He said that if there was anything settled to the bottom of the quarry, we wouldn't know because it was so deep. So as we promised, we walked to the side of the quarry and started climbing the small rocks to the trail that led to the top of the cliff. “Holy f&@*” Sean and Thomas said almost in unison. They were the first two at the top and were looking over the edge. If you thought it was overwhelming to look at the cliffs from across the quarry, imagine how intimidating it was to be looking down from the top. We bickered at each other about who would jump first. “Not me” Taylor said. “Yeah maybe when hell freezes over” I could hear Thomas say. “Whatever, I'll go first you babies,” Sean said as he started emptying his pockets and taking his socks and shoes off. I was relieved for a split second that I wasn't going to have to volunteer myself to go first. Sean took a couple steps back to get a running start. We started with the 10 second countdown. “10, 9, 8, 7, 6,” Taylor and I said and before we could get to 5, Sean was jumping off the edge. It was truly a scary but incredible thing to watch. I could hear the splash of the water, and within seconds his head popped up, and we received another thumbs up. But now we had another problem, who would go next? I thought to myself “I might as well just get it over with...” and my heart began beating faster as I claimed the next jump. I took my shoes off and stepped back, my hands were shaking and my heart was beating faster than I have ever felt it beat before. “10, 9, 8,” I heard Taylor start the countdown “Am I really going to do this? Am I really about to jump? How could I have let those drunk idiots convince me to do this?” I wondered as I stood 5 feet from the edge of a 60 foot cliff. “7, 6,” My right foot stepped forward but my left foot didn't follow, I had frozen there. I was scared and petrified of what I was about to do. “How could I have let those drunk idiots convince me to do this” I thought, but then I realized they didn't. I knew somewhere deep in my heart and my mind that I wanted to do this. I wasn't going to let fear stop me from doing this. “5, 4,” And as I heard the number four, my body took control and my mind went blank.' “321” I heard Taylor scream them as fast as she could as I leaped and jumped off the edge. The free fall was exhilarating. I couldn't scream, I couldn't breathe, I was just falling. And then you heard it, SMACK! During the free fall my legs had come out from under me and I had landed in the water as if I was going to sit down in a chair. As I pushed myself to the top, I could feel the pain in my legs, but that wasn't on my mind. I was so proud of myself, I did it, I jumped. I swam to the side of the quarry and when I climbed out of the water my legs instantly felt like Jell-O. Taylor had jumped in right after I did and was the first to see my legs. “Ashley OH MY GOD!” I could hear the worry in her voice. I looked down at my legs and they were turning purple and red. I had hit the water so hard that I had broken multiple blood vessels in my legs. Bystanders had come up to us after we climbed the fence to get back to the car. They all asked the same question, “Why?” And all we could respond with was that we wanted the adventure that came along with it. For weeks after the jump, I proudly walked around with my bruises. They lasted for about 6 weeks and I constantly had people stop me to ask what had happened. I told them I had jumped from a 60 foot cliff and landed funny. They all followed up with the same question, “But why would you do that?” And every time I would respond with the same answer, "Because it was something I needed to prove to myself." I stood at the top of that cliff and doubted myself. My mind told me I didn't have the courage or strength to overcome that fear of jumping. But I did and I have never been so proud of myself. It was one of the most terrifying, but at the same time the most exhilarating experience of my life. It makes me wonder on days when I look back, what if I didn't jump? My life wouldn't have be drastically changed if I hadn't jumped, but would I have been so proud of myself after if I had chickened out? Would I have the faith in myself that I do now to overcome any fear I will ever encounter because of the courage I had to prove my mind wrong? It makes me wonder how many wonderful experiences I may have missed out on due to the fact that i was 'too scared' to follow through. And at the end of the day, I am happy with the choice I made because it was that chance I had to prove to myself what I'm really made of. In this post, I will choose one showing scene and one telling scene from the article Miracle Woman and why I feel these scenes are a vital part of her story. I will also write a commentary on Henrietta Lacks' decision to go to the doctor.
Henrietta visited the doctor that day with the intention of creating a medical and scientific break through in the cancer world. She understood that something was not right with her body, and took the proper steps to helping herself. But with that one visit, she allowed doctors and scientists the opportunity to research her tumor. And although her family feels betrayed, they are also proud that she was able to help researchers advance their studies. As her daughter Deborah once whispered to a vial of her mother's cells: "You're famous, just nobody knows it." Dear Brian,
I recently read your article on Huffington Post, Everyone Knew I was Gay, Except My Brother. It was an incredible story of the nervousness and fear you had telling your brother you are gay and your courageous triumph over it. Your story was very heartwarming, especially the way your brother and sister in-law responded to your coming out. Brave is one word I think of for your article. It showed how proud and comfortable you are with yourself, and I am sure that is what a lot of people with they had. There hasn't been a time where I feel I have reveled a 'secret'. But there are times that I can recall of being told secrets. One sticks out in particular. I was in 8th grade at the time, my best friend and I were sitting on the hard concrete stairs that led from the big gym down to the football field. It was a cool spring day and we were sitting at the middle schools football practice. We started talking about small things like our homework and the gossip floating around the halls. One thing led to another and before I knew it, she was sharing one of her secrets with me. "My mom is a recovering alcoholic. You are the only one I've told that too." She talked about how it affected her and her sister. I was so shocked that she opened up to me like that. When she shared that secret with me, I instantly felt much closer with her. I knew that if she could open up to me about that, there was nothing in this world we couldn't talk to and be there for each other about. We talked about everything from school, to work, and of course boys our entire way through middle school and high school. We met when we were in 6th grade and were best friends until our freshman year in college. There are times I miss her a lot and the friendship we shared, but I guess things pan out the way they do for a reason. Thank you for being so open with the world about your secret and how you overcame it. You are inspiration for people all over the world. Ashley Prior to spring break, there was a meeting arranged for myself to conference one-on-one with Professor Mangini. We talked about the standard appearance with my blog and worked our way through my pages, one by one. After discussing some small changes or fixes, we talked about my academic progress. I admitted to myself and to Professor Mangini that I was not doing my best and that I knew I could give more effort than what I was putting into the class and my work. We moved to my Reflective Dialogue and discussed the answers to certain questions pertaining my works and the class overall. Next we discussed my This I Believe Essay. Mr. Mangini complimented my choice of wording and mentioned that my writing was poetic. When he said that, I was very pleased with myself. We talked of other sentences that could be worded differently and the arrangement of my scenes. Overall, I was very pleased with the conference. It was very eye-opening to have such a respectable and honest conversation about my writing. I walked into that meeting wanting to be a 2nd grade teacher and walked out wanting to be a high school english teacher.
This semester I plan to get my feet on the ground and running. I know I need to stay on track of my blogs and put more effort into the works I produce. Our meeting really motivated me for the second half of the semester. I am ready to do things the right way this time and really improve my writing. Dear Margaret,
I read your story My Name is Margaret and it is undeniably one of my favorites. You were a young girl during slavery but came out on top. This part of your story stands out most to me "Old speckled-face leaned down and asked, “Who did it, Viola? Was it Mary? Who did it?” Everything was happening so fast I can’t remember whether her action preceded her words, but I know Mrs. Cullinan said, “Her name’s Margaret, goddam it, her name’s Margaret.” And she threw a wedge of the broken plate on me. It could have been the hysteria which put her aim off, but the flying crockery caught Miss Glory right over her ear and she started screaming. I left the front door wide open so all the neighbors could hear. Mrs. Cullinan was right about one thing. My name wasn’t Mary. This part of your story stands out most to me because you took a stand for yourself. You walked out of that house with such determination and relief. Standing up to authority is not an easy thing to do. Wether it be law enforcement, or you own parents. I once had to stand up to my parents. It was the night of my sisters sweet sixteen around 4am when I could hear the loud music and loud voice coming from my living room. My house was a rancher and I was lucky enough to have the room right off of the living room. After two hours of trying to fall asleep but being unable too, I stormed out of my room and yelled at my parents. I didn't even realize that I was yelling until everything got quiet and I could see the looks on my parents faces. "Oh shit" I thought, what had I just done? My dad was the first to say something and he was not happy. He yelled at me for talking to them like that and lectured me on having respect. It was my sisters sweet sixteen and I was ruining it, he told me loudly. I was so mad and upset that I started crying. The hot tears ran down my face as my mom started, she wasn't happy either. It turned into an hour long fight between me and my parents. We started just yelling about the music and the noise and before I knew it we were yelling at each other about any and everything. My mom and I were crying with one another as we yelled and at one point we both had enough. The next morning, I felt bad about yelling at my parents and ruining the fun my sister was having the night of her party, but I also felt relieved that I had gotten a lot of things off of my chest with my parents. I'm sure other families would have handled that situation differently, maybe there woundn't have been the noise at 4am or there wouldn't have been the crying and yelling. My parents are very loud individuals and have no trouble expressing their true feelings and thoughts and I love them for that. They were not afraid of putting me in my place when I deserved it and listening when I needed to talk. Ashley |